Pregnancy and labor are a different experience for everyone and for every child. For some, it is a sweet period of connection and empowerment. For others it can shake their identity, mood, and body leaving them confused and discouraged.
While there are many things we cannot control about pregnancy and labor, there are some tips that will help prepare your body and mind for the change that is coming.
1. Prioritize self-care and give yourself permission to ask for help
Whether this is your first child or your fourth, it is important to remember that self care is necessary not only for you but for your baby. This can feel easier said than done, especially if you have other children, pets, work, or other responsibilities that take time. Do not be afraid to ask for help from a spouse, neighbor, or service provider to give yourself time to rest, regular snack breaks, community, and movement. Yoga nidra is a great tool for pregnant women to get rest in the middle of the day or before going to sleep. Just 20 minutes of yoga nidra equates to about an hour of sleep. If laying on your back is uncomfortable, try laying on your left side. Avoid compressing the right side as the vena cava can cut off blood flow to the placenta.
2. Give yourself grace for the changes that are occurring in your body and mind
It is normal and expected to gain weight during pregnancy, feel more forgetful, exhausted, have bodily soreness, more frequent urination, and to feel more emotionally sensitive. We produce more estrogen during pregnancy than we would in 100 years if we were not pregnant. All of this means that it is even more vital to get support when you need it. This could look like scheduling shorter hours at work or more frequent breaks, schedule regular time with friends, develop affirmations that remind you of your strength and future hopes, engage others to help with reminders or keep lists for things you might forget. You may choose to seek massage therapy, acupuncture, or chiropractic specialists in pregnancy. Allow your feelings without judgement. Some people experience sadness when they find out the sex of their baby. This is natural and normal to grieve and does not make you a bad parent. Expressing your feelings to a safe person will help you not to carry them with you when your baby is born.
3. Remember that you are pregnant, not powerless
Some people are able to maintain the exercise regiment they were doing before they became pregnant with the approval of their doctor, others feel completely depleted or have good days and bad days in terms of energy. The good news is no matter where you fall on this spectrum you have options. Kegels are a great daily exercise that you can do anywhere to strengthen your pelvic floor and prepare for birth. Making sure your work out regiment includes squats with feet at hip width or wider is also great labor preparation. You can seek out prenatal yoga classes or make modifications on your regular workout regiment by dropping your weight selection if you see any coning or tenting of the stomach or feel discomfort. Everyone is different, so don’t compare your activity level to other pregnant people. Listen to your body day to day and moment by moment.
4. Don’t be afraid to let go
One of the most powerful pain management strategies for labor is creating an environment in which you are most at peace. Maybe for you that means a hospital, home birth, or birth center. Think about the most supportive people in your life that you can be vulnerable with. If you don’t have any, now is the time to foster connections or seek out support from a doula. Think about lighting, scents, music, even movements that feel soothing to you. Use breathing strategies such as sighing or fluttering your lips to open the pelvic floor or use low deep sounds.
5. Be yourself and set boundaries appropriately
When pregnant, you become a magnet for people giving advise or touching your body without permission. While many are well intentioned, remember that just because you are pregnant does not make you public property. It is ok to gently let someone know that you prefer not to be touched or that you would be happy to let them touch your belly if they ask first. You may really value the advice and express gratitude, gently accept the advice while doing what fits your personal values, or ask them not to give advice unless you ask. You also get to decide when and if you tell someone that you are pregnant.
